This state of limbo that I have been, and have seemed to be in since I graduated college, really messes with my head. It makes me wonder if maybe it is the universe's/God's/whatever's way of telling me that I should do something else with my life rather than
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Thoughts and such
Among other things, I have spent nearly the past two hours contemplating why I half ass everything and how I can get inspired because I am greatly lacking inspiration- and have for some time now.... I miss having aspirations.
This state of limbo that I have been, and have seemed to be in since I graduated college, really messes with my head. It makes me wonder if maybe it is the universe's/God's/whatever's way of telling me that I should do something else with my life rather than being trying to be a lawyer... And this state of limbo, this doing nothing meaningful, makes me question everything in my life like whether I really want to be this or be that. I guess because, because, I don't really do anything. What I mean by that is - what do I mean by that? - what I mean is that I feel like I have no purpose because I am not really doing anything. (Yes, I am going on vacation soon and then yes, as soon as I come back I am going to start studying for the bar, but it is the in-between that gets to me.) Every day is like the movie Groundhog Day; I do the same stupid meaningless shit that makes no difference in this world or in my life... The bottom line is that I don't know what my passion is and I NEED a passion. I want to be excited about something- about what I do everyday.
This state of limbo that I have been, and have seemed to be in since I graduated college, really messes with my head. It makes me wonder if maybe it is the universe's/God's/whatever's way of telling me that I should do something else with my life rather than
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5 comments:
I understand. Have you thought about a non-legal job here with the State? Totally not flashy but it could be a good change of pace. The legislative session is starting soon BUT that means that you won't be able to do Feb bar...
It sounds like you think being a lawyer will make your life feel like it has a purpose. But not everyone is defined by their jobs - some people find purpose in life by how their daily actions impact other people. Maybe if you did a selfless act (volunteer at a soup kitchen/hospital, etc or do something nice for someone - like cook dinner for a family member or wash someone's car, etc.) it may make you feel better when you go to bed at night.
Hope you have fun on vacation! I love to travel -- as a matter of fact, it's what keeps me going!
Jess, no I haven't because I truly do think I would be an awesome lawyer and really enjoy it. It is the not passing the bar the first time that makes me second guess myself at times. Also, I am the type of person that when I have downtime or nothing to do I just sit there and think and let my mind wander about the silliest/stupidest/funniest/craziest/not to mention most intelligent things ;-) i just need to get busy doing something and not just "waiting" to start studying again. know what i mean?
Adrienne, I don't think that being a lawyer specifically will make my life have purpose, but rather having some type of goal to strive for whether it be work, a family, volunteer work etc. And right now because I am in this limbo place I feel kinda bored with my life. But I know this will pass once I start doing something, anything, productive.... I am super excited for my trip back to San Diego. I am staying for about 3 weeks so I will take tons of pictures and post them! :-) I saw your pics from your past vacay on your blog! Looked really fun! :-)
This song matches your blog post perfectly:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rH_7_XRfTMs
Ok, I have to do my "homework" now...
OMG! Adrienne that is one of my favorite songs on Arcade Fire's new album!! Good choice!
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