random musings: 2.4.15

i lost something in Texas. 

my heart. 

my fam. 

my pup. 

what does it mean. 

random musings: 1.24.15

i left something in texas.

my heart.

my fam.

my pup. 

what does it mean?

1.19.15

heard in yoga today:

let. go. 

again.

 i identify with this. 

1.7.14

heard in yoga today:

the deepest level. the darkest levels. of the sea. are the most magical. the most interesting. 

i identify with this. 

guess who is back?

the ever evolving r.

my number one goal for my evolution is to become... fearless.

i am confident i can obtain this.

and the thought of it makes my soul sing and my mouth grin...

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from Me and Lola! Hope you all had a great one!!!

Right Now

right now i was reading one of my favorite blogs, specifically this post and the last few words Matt, who I consider a friend even though we only know each other via twitter, really struck a chord with me. He said, "i’ve been asked many times before, if it’s hard for me to see such a striking resemblance between maddy and her mom. the answer? fuck no. i find nothing but comfort in seeing liz in maddy. and why shouldn’t i?"

Those words made me realize how lucky and blessed I am to be surrounded by and in contact with people that inspire me to be a better person. Matt has been to hell and back and can still manage to have a positive outlook- maybe not all the time, as i am sure he would admit, but still, most of the time he does. It is people like that- all of the many people I am honored to call my friends- that i am constantly amazed by. Your all's strength and courage and positivity and humor and love help me to grow and for that I thank you.

xoxo

10 Things I Need Everyday

My cousin Jess, who you can find here, posted a blog yesterday about the 10 things that she has to have every day! She got the idea from a blog she reads called Sluiter Nation.
Check both of 'em out. They are pretty neat! Anyway's here are the top 10 things that I need everyday.



1. Water: I definitely need to have water every single day. In fact, most days it will be all that I drink. I prefer to drink as little caffeine as possible so water is a great alternative to sodas.

2. My iPhone: I seriously love this gadget! It is a phone, a calendar, an mp3 player, a game player, and countless other things wrapped into something that is slighter smaller than my hand. I use it every single day and cannot imagine a day when that won't be the case. WOAH! That is kind of a scary statement! haha



3. Contacts : I am as blind as a bat so it really is a necessity that I use contacts every single day! Sure I could wear my glasses, but if you are as blind as me then you know that it is really unsafe to drive around while wearing glasses because you have absolutely no peripheral vision! So thankful that contacts were invented!

4. Twitter : To say that I am obsessed with Twitter is an understatement. I think it is so cool! I love posting stuff, I love seeing what those I am following have to say. It is just so quick and easy and without the fuss of facebook since the amount of people I have follow is pretty small when compared to FB. BTW, follow ME!!!

5. Facebook : I know I know. I was just kinda, sorta talking smack about facebook. But I still do like it because it is interesting to keep up with people you went to school with, used to work with, etc. And it such a good e-stalking tool! ;-)



6. Sunglasses : Ok, in Jess's blog she said that she is constantly getting headaches. I AM TOO!!! I thought I was the only person on the planet who pretty much had a headache almost every single day. Good thing to know that I am not! Anyways, because of my headaches, I always always always need sunglasses during the day. In fact, if it were up to me, I would wear sunglasses 24/7. ;-P

7. Food : Let me be clear, I LOVE to eat! I am not one of those people that can skip meals or just have a shake. NO MAAM! I need to have a well-balanced meal 3 times a day!!

8. My Computer : Again, I kinda do not like that I rely on technology so much, but I really do need my computer AND the internet every single day, especially since I am studying for the bar. One of my MBE programs has to be connected to the internet in order to work and I need my computer for writing outlines, typing up essays, etc. Maybe after the bar I will do a digital cleanse.... or maybe not!

9. LOLA : I do need Lola every day and I know for sure that she needs me! I never thought I would be that person, but I am and I embrace it and love it! My dog is amazing. Even when she is driving me nuts, I still love her. She is a good dog and can always put a smile on my face. I mean just look at HER face. How can you just not love it?!

10. Family & Friends : Last but not least, I could not deal with not talking to my family and friends every day. They keep me grounded, are there when I need support, or just a good laugh.

Soothes My Soul

totally trying to really hold onto the words of this song.



"And as for the clouds, just let them roll... away." <3

Thoughts and such

Among other things, I have spent nearly the past two hours contemplating why I half ass everything and how I can get inspired because I am greatly lacking inspiration- and have for some time now.... I miss having aspirations.

This state of limbo that I have been, and have seemed to be in since I graduated college, really messes with my head. It makes me wonder if maybe it is the universe's/God's/whatever's way of telling me that I should do something else with my life rather than being trying to be a lawyer... And this state of limbo, this doing nothing meaningful, makes me question everything in my life like whether I really want to be this or be that. I guess because, because, I don't really do anything. What I mean by that is - what do I mean by that? - what I mean is that I feel like I have no purpose because I am not really doing anything. (Yes, I am going on vacation soon and then yes, as soon as I come back I am going to start studying for the bar, but it is the in-between that gets to me.) Every day is like the movie Groundhog Day; I do the same stupid meaningless shit that makes no difference in this world or in my life... The bottom line is that I don't know what my passion is and I NEED a passion. I want to be excited about something- about what I do everyday.

eh

i haven't felt like blogging in a while... hopefully that will change soon.

adios readers.

i LOVE jeans

Ladies,

You HAVE TO go out and buy J. Crews Matchstick Jeans!!!




They are wonderful!!! ! I bought them a couple of weeks ago when I was in Santa Fe with D. When I bought them I knew I liked them, but I wasn't too sure how often I would wear them. I have worn them many days since then! They are soooo soft and sooo comfortable. I like the fact that you can wear them with heels to dress them up or you can wear them with a white short sleeve v-neck and your favorite pair of sandals (gladiators in my case) as I am today! (Sorry the pic is blurry!!)




They are not too pricey and you will definitely get your money's worth!!

BTW, a special shout out to Adrienne for telling me to blog! :-) It makes for a nice study break!! And follow her wonderful food blog What's For Dinner

space

its so strange - to be back.

i know that it was the wisest decision, but i am truly missing being on my own.

they say that no matter how old you are, when you are around your parents you will always go back to being the kid. that you emotionally cannot help it.

it is true.

this is not a bad thing, but it is just such an adjustment... taking longer than i thought and to be honest i was not expecting to adjust to anything. i thought it would just fall together.

i need space.

part of me just wants to pack up my car and move, but then i realize...

such is life...

my heart is breaking over something i never even had.

sometimes i think that i hope too quickly, but then i think that my life would be so boring and not me if i didn't.

the latter part is the part of me that i really like.

A Restless Development

i'm restless. again...

i'll elaborate more and edit this post when i figure out what i'm really restless about. but i just needed to write it out to acknowledge it.

What We Lost In Law School

as my law school career is coming to a close, ive already begun reflecting on everything i have learned while in it- about the law, about people, about myself. this blog entry is about myself- who would have thought, right?!?! HA!

overall in the past 3 years i have learned VOLUMES about myself. in law school, u are constantly analyzing everything- the why's, the who's, the how come's. it is inevitable that this process will bleed into every area of your life. for someone like me, this is a God send. let me briefly explain why:

a few months before i graduated from college, back in 2005, i didnt know what i wanted to do and i was barely coming into my own. i was @ a crossroad of sorts.... i remember lying in the living room with my mom and telling her that i hated that i didnt know whether i could think for myself. i didnt know if i "believed" what i "believed" because i was taught it, because the people around me believed it, or because i really did believe. i was not referring to religion because after re-reading that sentence it can imply that. what i was referring to was EVERYTHING! i told her that i didnt even know if my favorite color was really mine or someone else's that i claimed as my own.

cut to present day: i am a completely different person than i was back in that memory. i know what i believe in and think about things and i can tell you exactly why. i love that about myself, especially when i think about how just 4 years ago i was the exact opposite.

however, we dont always come out of every experience loving every part of it. hence, the reason for writing this blog. given that law school is extremely, brutally, incredibly difficult, it is super hard (at least for me) to balance everything: classes, homework, family, friends, your health, your sanity, and YOUR SENSE OF STYLE.

i feel like i lost my sense of style in law school. and that sucks. before law school, i used to really care about what i looked like from my hair, to my makeup, to my clothes, to my shoes, to everything... and not for some dumb reason like i cared what others thought of me, but rather because it was just something i loved. it came easy for me... but now, it seems like one more thing to cross off on the "to do" list. its a chore. its a chore to get ready in the morning and do my hair, and my makeup, and find a cute outfit with the right shoes, especially when there are other things that are more important like school work. but are they really?! i mean in order for me to function at my maximum potential i have to take care of myself and be happy. but as we all do when we have more pressing things to worry about, i shove that thought out of my head as quickly as it came in. i HATE that ive allowed this to happen to myself. i mean i honestly dont even care what i look like when i leave the house anymore. wearing the same pair of jeans, flip flops, and white or grey american apparel shirt everyday with my hair pulled up in an ugly ponytail might bother some, but it doesnt bother me and THAT bothers me. i want to take pride in how i look, but i dont want it to be a chore..... how does that happen when you havent paid yourself any mind for so long??

time flys by

i've had this blog for nearly 3 years. tonight i was reading some of my early posts and it made me realize how much has changed: the subject matters, the style, the outlook. they are all completely different. that does not surprise me one bit because anyone who knows me knows that one of my personal goals in life is to constantly evolve and become a better person. that cant happen without change. while most of my changes and evolution have been positive, there have been some negative changes or backsliding that has occurred over the past 3 years. but u know what man, thats what life is about. u live and u learn and u either try to change or u become complacent. and depending on the type of person u are either choice can be okay. im proud of myself. im proud of the person, the woman, that i am becoming. im not without fault and by no means perfect but i feel like everyday i get to know myself a little bit better and this blog is evidence of that...

Judge Rachel

i judge people.

there i said it and i see absolutely nothing wrong with it either for 3 important reasons:

first off, i am an equal opportunity judger. i dont discriminate. i judge everyone from a life-long friend to the clerk at albertsons. everyone is judged equally in my book.

second, it is human nature: if we all have a set of values/morals/standards/etc, wouldnt it be pretty much impossible not to compare other people's values/morals/standards/etc to our own and come to a conclusion aka judging them.

lastly, i keep my judgments private. unlike a real judge, i dont write up an opinion and publish it for all to see. once i come to a decision about someone or a situation, i observe, i judge, and keep it to myself either through my journal or just letting it stay in my head.

so after coming clean about my judgments i would now like to be referred to as Judge Rachel. ;-)

Positively Fabulous

Today was the first time in a couple of weeks that I was not extremely busy thanks to my hard work this past weekend. School is going really good this semester. I really cannot complain about any of the classes that I am taking. I am actually interested in all of them which is fantastic. I started pilates last week and it was killer. I have not been on a reformer in over 2 years and while it was like riding a bike, the effects were not. ha ha. I am trying to make it to class 3-4 times a week and come Friday I will have stuck to that promise for 2 weeks! yay me! :-) Call me crazy, but I can already tell a difference especially emotionally. My spirits have been so lifted these last 2 weeks and I have managed to hold a pretty positive attitude about everything. That feels great! So speaking of positivity, I wanted to share a quote by Drew Barrymore that I read today. I love what she said and I firmly agree with her! Some of you might have already ready this on people.com, but we can never hear anything uplifting too many times, right.

"I like projecting positivity. I believe that we are all fields of energy and you have the choice whether to be a positive or negative field of energy. I know that sounds hippie-ish but it's what I believe fundamentally. So you could be a bag of toxicity, or you could be a happy, good person that spreads joy. I believe in spreading joy." -- Drew Barrymore, in response to how she keeps a healthy outlook on life.